Wrong Side Of The Door
by Tweekers186
Summary: If I let you in, will you run away? Will you be able to handle whatever the hell is inside me? Can you help me feel alive..? Creek.
1. Blue eyes and it

**This isn't my first time writing a South Park fanfic but it's my first time posting one. Eh I dunno. I was bored and tired.**

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><p>This is my second freak out I've had today. Luckily the first was while I was still at home. I had been making myself a coffee for the day when it started talking to me. Nothing to bad happened but I ended up spilling my coffee all over myself and having to change clothes. But this freak out was a lot worse. I was in the middle of taking my math test, it was actually pretty easy and I was flying through it, but then it started again.<p>

_'Lalalala..'_

My head raised quickly, jerking it around in different directions to find the source of the sound before realizing that it was them. My hand trembled as it gripped tighter on the pen in my hand. "P-Please shut up.." I whispered quietly enough so know besides myself could hear.

It began to chuckle slightly. '_Why oh why would I ever do that._' It laughed again but this time it was louder. _'Don't you ever forget I'm your only friend'_

My entire body was trembling bad now. I know it always did slightly but when ever I had an episode I swear I was a human vibrator. In all honestly I had no idea who or what was in my head. As a child I found comfort in it due to the fact I was usually alone. But once I hit about third grade and gained real friends, _it_ didn't like it. As if it was jealous. Then it started to become mean. Tell me how pathetic I am and everything, it didn't bother me too much at first but once it started to tell me very detailed things that disturbed me beyond belief was when it started to effect me bad.

I rested my head softly against the table and dropped the pen out of my right hand so I could use both of my hands to cover my ears. I don't know why I bothered doing this, it never worked in shutting it up but I still did it.

_'Look at you. Shaking. People are probably staring. Snickering. You're nothing more then something to laugh at to them. You know what? I bet if you died no one would care. Maybe we should test that out?'_

My hands clutched onto my ears tighter and then finding there way to my hair and tugging at it. "Oh god shut up.." My voice a bit louder this time caused a few heads to turn.

_'How about maybe, I dunno.. Jump out the window next to you..?'_

My eyes were now tight shut as I banged my head against the table. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I screamed, this time causing everyone to look at me. My eyes snapped open noticing how loud I had been. Fuck. Why did I have to go do that? I looked up to notice everyone staring at me. Noticing a few like Eric about to burst out laughing at my little outburst.

"Mr Tweak. We are taking a test. Quiet down." The teacher said as he glared at me.

I felt tears well in my eyes before I quickly dismissed them. I quickly stood up grabbing my things before running out the classroom, ignoring the teacher yelling for me to come back.

I ended up behind the school. Crouching down beside the dumpster. Usually the smokers hang out around here, though due to the fact it was still class time no one was here but me.

It had stopped talking now. It always does that. Waits for me to crack or embarrass myself in some way then it shuts up. It also shuts up if I do what it tells me to do. But no way was I gonna jump out that window.. At least I don't think I would've. My shaking was back to normal now, I looked up at the sky before slamming my head back on the wall I was leaning against. I'm so sick of this. Of it. I really fucking I am. I'm 17 now, I thought everything would've not been as bad by now. I feel a tear fall down my cheek before pulling my knees to my chest and sobbing quietly into them.

"The fuck you doing here."

My body froze. I looked up from my knees. My cheeks were damp with tears and my eyes were puffy, I was embarrassed to let someone see in suck a state. A tall figure shadowed over me. Black hair stuck out a Blue chullo. Piercing blue eyes were staring down at me. I swear they were burning right through my soul. The sun made the piercings on the ravens face give off a slight light. He had snake bites and a bridge piercing. To why someone would stick metal through their face in their own free will, I will never know. He glared at me as he dug his hand into his hoodie, pulling out a packet of cigarettes.

"Well whatever reason you're here I don't care. You're in my spot. Move over."

I blinked in response at first, trying to process what had just happened. Once it clicked in my head I moved away from the dumpster, giving the raven a place to sit. As soon as I did he slid his back down against the wall sitting next to me. I moved over a tad more once noticing our legs were touching. I stared at his face as he pulled a cigarettes out of the packet and placing it in his mouth before lighting it. Craig. Craig Tucker. That's who was sitting next to me. We sometimes sit at the same table in the cafeteria, but never really talk to each other. We were close in forth grade for a bit. And by close I mean I let him copy my homework and sometimes go over to his house and play games with Clyde and Token.

He took notice of me staring at him and returned me with a slight glare before inching the packet of cigarettes towards me. "Want one?" He said as he blew smoke out of his mouth.

I stared at it for a brief moment before taking one, he then handed the lighter to me. I've never actually smoked before. I've never wanted to, but for some reason in this moment, I forgot that. "Th-thanks.." I mumbled before placing the cancer stick in my mouth and lighting the end of it. Inhaling the smoke deep down in my lungs. I gave him back the lighter before I started coughing. He put the lighter and the rest of the packet in his pocket before staring off into space. How does he not cough after inhaling it like I do? He's used to it I guess? Weird. After a couple more puffs of my cigarette I noticed it taking a slight effect. It was nice. I turned my head to Craig, which he noticed.

"What." He spoke to me in the most deadpan voice in the world.

I shook my head quickly before looking away. "N-Nothing! ngh-Sorry!" I almost screamed.

"Geez calm down." I shook my head again trying to calm down. "Why are you out here anyway? You never come out here." He looked at me with those piercing blue eyes. They weren't dark, but not light. That perfect blue right in the middle. They were beautiful.. Wait what?

I tugged on my hair lightly to rid myself of my thinking track. "I.. Ah.. I kinda had a minor breakdown in class. S-so I ran out.. And my feet led me to -Ugh- here I guess..."

He kept his gaze at me as if acknowledging what I said before turning back to stare into space in front of him. The raven then finished his cigarette, dropping it in the snow next to him as he stood up. He looked down at me for a moment nodding at me before walking off. I watched him leave, leaving me sitting there to finish off my cigarette.

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><p>I skipped the rest of my classes that day. I wasn't strong enough to handle people teasing me for what happened so I just went home. My parents were working at the coffee shop so they wouldn't notice anyway. Once I got into the house I headed straight for the kitchen. I decided to make myself a caramel latte instead of my usual black coffee. I felt like something sweet. I went up to my room with the mug in my hand and placed it on my bedside table. I slid my pants and my shirt off, leaving myself in just my boxers before walking over to my desk and taking my baggy grey sweater and put it over my scrawny figure. It went just past the end of my boxers. I sat down on my bed and snuggled up into my blankets, taking my mug filled to the brim with coffee in my hands and taking a big slurp of it. It felt like heaven running down my throat. A put the cup back down on the side table and laid back in my bed.<p>

Then something hit me. Why had a taken a cigarette from Craig before? I've always told myself I'd never touch them. But for some reason I forgot that I had told myself that. I think I was caught up in his eyes or something. His beautiful eyes.. Ugh. Why do I keep thinking that..?

I closed my eyes. I actually felt tired. I didn't sleep at all last night so maybe a nap was needed. Next thing a knew I was asleep.

"PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" I shot up. I was covered in a layer of sweat. I was panting roughly, my hands tangled in my messy blonde hair, tugging down. Tears were escaping my eyes as I trembled. This is why I hated sleeping.

I was having a decent dream at first, I had been walking though the hallways in South Park high everything was normal. I went to my locker to get some books I needed when there was a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see a black shadow staring down at me. Red eyes. Sharp teeth that I could see as the thing smirked. Next thing I knew I was in the ground with 4 of the shadow creatures grabbing at each of my limbs. Then I heard /It's/ voice.

_'Lalalalala..'_ I felt my limbs being being pulled on painfully. I screamed but was then was silenced by a hand covering my mouth, but I couldn't see it, it was invisible. _'Shut the fuck up you pathetic piece of shit.'_

I cried quietly, the cries being muffled because of the hand though.

_'Ugh I said shut up!'_ Another shadow appeared with a cut throat razor in it's hand. It was on top of me holding the razor to my neck, next thing I knew my vision had been raped by the colour red.

'_Lalala Hahaha!'_

And then I woke up and that's where I am now.

I looked at the clock and sighed realizing I had only slept for 2 hours. My parents still wouldn't be home for for a few hours. I got up from my bed and took a gulp of my now cold latte. I didn't care though, coffee is coffee to me. I made my way to the bathroom then removed my clothes and stepped into the shower. I turned the tap for the cold water and stood under the it. After about 30 seconds of shivering, I slowly sat down in the shower before bring my knees to my chest. I always have cold showers. They make my body feel numb. For a brief moment it makes me forget things going on in my head. I stay in there for almost 40 minutes before I decide it was time to get out.

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><p>I ended up skipping dinner that night and just listened to music on my laptop until it was once again time for school. My dad had made me a coffee this morning and left it on the table in a silver thermos before he went to work. This made me smile. I grabbed the thermos and also my backpack before making my way out the door to walk to school.<p>

I always get to school early, usually due to the fact I don't sleep the night before so I can arrive as early as I want. I walk into the cafeteria and notice two people were already sitting at the table I usually sat at. Strolling up to it I sat down next to one of the people while taking a long slurp of my coffee.

"Hey Tweek!"

My gaze turned to the orange hooded person who had spoken my name. A slight smile came across my lips as have a little wave. "H-hi Kenny."

Kenny gave a big, toothy smile in response before going back to talking to red head across from him.

I sat there awkwardly, twitching every now and then. More people eventually came to sit down with us. Token, Clyde, Butters and Stan were now also sitting at the table with us. Something then caught the corner of my eye. A dark blue figure walked towards the table. I don't know why I was so interested in this though. This was normal. Craig sat with this group a lot due to the fact him and Clyde were best friends apparently. What happened next shocked him, Craig hadn't gone and sat over on the other side next to Clyde or Token like he usually does. Instead he stopped next to me. Looking down at me as I twitched.

"Tweek." I looked up meeting his gaze. His eyes made a chill run up my spine. "Wanna come out for a cigarette?"

Really? He's asking me the spazzy annoying blonde kid he's barely talked to in years besides their slight interaction yesterday. I don't even like smoking! Though it did make me feel nice. Realizing that I was taking forever to reply and probably making the raven regret asking me I quickly nodded my head before standing up with my thermos in my hand. I noticed Kyle and few others looking at me weirdly. I guess they didn't expect me to agree to having a smoke. Well to be honest I wasn't expecting it either.

I walked next to Craig, following him to behind the school. I noticed the goth kids we also there but they were were about ten metres on the other side of the dumpster. Craig slid his back against the wall sitting down on his spot next the dumpster, a sat next him. He lit two cigarettes in his mouth. Inhaling the smoke of both before handing one of the cancer sticks to me. I dunno why but I found that cute.. Lighting both at once I mean- oh god I don't know what I'm saying. I deeply inhaled. This time not coughing.

"Thank you C-Craig."

The raven grunted in response before taking a puff of his smoke. "So. Why'd you freak out yesterday? You were crying when I saw you."

I looked at him for a moment. The questions sounded sincere but the tone of his voice made it kind of confusing. "Uh... Ngh- why..?"

Tucker shrugged in responds. "Curious."

I started to curl into myself in my sitting position, still sucking at the cigarette. "Y-you.. You wouldn't -Ngh! Believe me if I told you."

This seemed to peek Craig's interest. "Try me."

I shook my head violently, my left hand tugging at my hair. He wouldn't believe me if I told him there was a voice in my head that was basically driving me insane. Suddenly I felt a hand grab my hand that was clutching onto my hair. "Tweek calm down." I loosened grip on my hair.

I was trembling. He hadn't let go of my hand even though I wasn't gripping my hair anymore. I pulled my hand away and rested it on my knee, taking another puff. "I just.. I -Ngh! Don't want to talk about... S-sorry..."

Craig didn't look fazed. He just shrug his shoulders again before finishing his cigarette. He stood up and once looked down at the shaking blonde who still hadn't finished his smoke. "See you around."

I looked up at him as he walked away, catching his gaze. His beautiful blue eyes..

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><p><strong>Honestly let me know if I should write more.. I mean I probably will but I usually get bored. But if people like it I don't get bored aha-<strong>


	2. Worried shards

**Thank you for all the reviews~ made me more willing to continue this story. This is going to be most likely a long fanfic. So I'm glad you guys enjoy it so far. It's slow currently due to the fact I don't want to rush~**  
><strong>Also I made a shitty cover for the story- It's meh I dunno I got bored- post107105080300**

I had math first period. Fucking great. That means the teacher was defiantly gonna pull me to the side and go off at me for yesterday. I could always skip, but I don't want to fail. I don't want to end up on the streets unable to get a job because I have no education to my name. I made it to class just as soon as the bell rang, attempting to slip in unnoticed to my usual seat.

"Tweek."

I basically jumped as high as the roof upon hearing my name. I turned my head slightly to see the person who had spoken my name. Ughhh.. It was teacher, Mr. White. Once he had he eye contact with me, he gestured for me to come over. I walked over to him slowly while tripping over my own feet.

"Y-yes sir..?" I had reached his desk now and was standing in front of it, trembling. I was probably going to get in trouble, which I hate. I keep to myself and don't get in fights or anything stupid like that. So it annoys me that my own personal problem is the reason I get in trouble. I guess I wouldn't get in trouble for it as much if I actually told the teachers or the school counselor my condition but they'd probably think I was crazy and send me away. I can't handle that!

"Now Tweek," Mr. White crossed his arms over his chest. "We can't have you having anymore outbursts like that. It's the third time this month. I don't know why you're doing it but it needs to stop." I kept nodding to everything but I actually wasn't paying too much attention to the words he spoke. I knew he was saying the same thing every other teacher does. "and we defiantly can't have you running out of the class like that. It causes too much of a disruption with the other students. This is your last warning. If it happens again I will have to call your parents."

My head jerked from this. No longer doing it's slow nodding. I can't let him call my parents. They'd know what's wrong. They'd know I had been lying that I was better now. I had lied to them so I wouldn't have to see the doctor anymore and be heavily medicated. I used to be on so much. But I learnt to fake a smile. To cut down my stuttering. I still shake but that's the caffeine fault. I told them I didn't hear things anymore. That I didn't see horribly vivid things in my dreams anymore. I remember my mother crying out of happiness as she hugged me in the doctors office when I told doctor Norris this. If she knew I was still like this her heart would break and probably go on about how she doesn't want her baby suffering.

I looked down to my feet and sighed. "Yes sir.. It won't Ngh- do it again. Sorry sir."

He nodded at me. "Ok back to your desk."

I made my way back to my desk and set my half full thermos down in the corner before sitting down and taking my book and pencil case out of my bag. The teacher began writing questions for us to answer on the board and I copied them out into my book. I finished rather quickly, everyone else was still writing down the questions, so I turned the page over and started to sketch some little drawings. I was drawing eyes. I really love eyes, I think they are the best feature on everyone's face. The way light shines off them, the shade they are, the curve of the eyelashes that cause a shadow. I hate mine though. They were too big for my face, the colour was an off shade of green and my eyelashes were a mix of dusty blonde and black. I one time put mascara on my eyelashes to see if it made then look better but it looked too girly for my taste. There was then a tap on my shoulder.

I turned my head around. "Duuuude. Your drawings are amazing!"

I quickly shut my book then smiled slightly at the person, feeling a little embarrassed someone had seen my drawings. "Th-thanks Kenny."

"Aw don't hide them!" He stood up from his seat behind me and came down next to me crouching so the teacher wouldn't see him as noticeably. "You should show people your talent dude!" He said why nudging my shoulder.

I grabbed my shoulder. That was actually a bit hard. "I see my drawings as s-something personal though.."

It looked like Kenny was about to reply to be when he was interrupted, "Kenny McCormick. Back to your seat now."

Kenny stood up faced the teacher and wiped a fake tear away before going back to his desk.

Well at least I can go back to drawing now.

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><p>Once it was time for lunch I made my way to the cafeteria. I got there pretty early so when I went in line to get food it didn't take long. The food here was horrible but I was pretty hungry so I shrugged it off.<p>

I made my way to the table I always sit at and sat down next to Kenny, placing my tray down on the table in front of me before nibbling on the pizza I got. I always tend to sit next to him when I sit with these guys. He's really friendly towards me, makes me happy, he actually invites me over to his place sometimes just to hang out with me alone. Everyone else here will only invite me to something if it's a group thing.

I suddenly had the feeling I was being watched. A shiver crept up my spine, causing me to make a quiet whimper. I looked up from my tray of food and saw a pair of eyes staring at me from the other side of the table. I jumped slightly. Why was Craig staring at me..?

He seemed to notice that I was uncomfortable so he looked away and mumbled something under his breath. I couldn't hear it but from the way his lips moved I think he said sorry.

I continued to nibble through my pizza but as I did a sharp pain went through my head. I dropped my head to the table and then I heard it. Fucks sake. _It_ began laughing.

"Hey dude are you alright?" Stan looked at me from the other side of the table. This caused everyone from the table to look at me. I was now the center of attention. It's hard to breathe.

"I-I'm fine! Just feeling sick!" I lied as my hands found their way to my hair, pulling slightly on it.

It started laughing louder _"Oh come on I just want to talk for a bit. You always tell me to go away and it's starting to piss me off."_

I shook my head violently as I quickly stood up and ran towards the bathrooms. I had to leave. I was about to cause a bigger scene than I already had. I was in that much of a rush I accidentally left my bag at the table. It was laughing at me as I ran.

The door to the boys bathroom swung wide open as I bolted in. Tears were welling in my eyes. Why can't it just leave me alone? What did I do to deserve this..?

Luckily I was alone in here. It kept laughing. It wouldn't shut up. It was driving me insane. I stumbled over to the basin and splashed some water on my face. Tears fell from my face. I was trembling bad now, my arms were wrapped around my chest, tightly gripping on my arms.

Then something caught my eye and I looked up at the mirror in front of me.

My reflection was laughing at me.. I blinked my eyes twice thinking it would go away if I did. But it didn't. Then it spoke.

_"You know I could take much better care of your body if you let me."_ it smirked. I was staring wide eyed. This was scary. "_You are truly pathetic."_

"N-No I'm not... Shut up.."

_"Ha! Fucking make me."_ It began laughing more uncontrollably, gripping at it's stomach because of it.

The next thing I knew, my balled up fist collided with the mirror, causing it to shatter. "Shut the fuck up!"

I fell backwards and gripped my fist with my other hand. It was bleeding and a there was a shards of the mirror piercing deep into one of my fingers. I started to pull on the shard to try to remove it. "Fuck!" I stopped, it really hurt too much, I needed to go to the nurse or something.

I brought my knees to my chest and backed up towards the wall. I stared at my hand as I watched blood ooze out from where the shard is penetrating my skin. I felt my heart drop and fear take over as I heard the the door being flung open.

"Tweek!"

I looked up from my hand to see Kenny running over to me. He knelt down beside me and took a hold of my hand with the shard in it. I bit my bottom lip to stop sobs coming out as I didn't want him to see me in such a vulnerable position, though this isn't the first time. Kenny is the only person who knows about _it_. I didn't mean for him to find out but I had an episode one time when I stayed the night at his and ended up telling him everything.

He reached into his pocket, taking a bandage out then put his fingers on the shard. "Hold your breath okay?"

I nodded in response. Next thing I knew he yanked the piece of mirror out of my finger. I let out a blood curling scream as more tears streamed down my face. He shoved his free hand over my mouth in attempt to shut me up so I wouldn't bring attention to the bathroom. Once I relaxed he wrapped my finger in the bandage. My hand was now throbbing.

"Ok that should do for now." He looked at me in the eyes. My eyes were glossy from tears. "Tell me what happened." He said softly as he put his hand on my back and moved it in circles soothingly.

I sniffled before wiping the tears from my face away with my sleeve. "It was talking to me... I told it to shut up as usual but then... I saw it. For the first time I saw it." I gripped the front of Kenny's hoodie and looked him dead in the eye. "It was me. My reflection. It was laughing at me." My eyes dropped to the ground looking at all the shards on the floor. "And I ended up punching it..."

Kenny wrapped his arms around me. "Well it's gone now. Next time it talks to you, tell me ok? I don't want you to hurt yourself again.."

He pulled away from me, resting his hands on my shoulders, giving me a reassuring smile as I nodded. He then stood up and reached out to help me up. We walked towards the door as I looked to my side at the other mirrors. Watching myself walk away.

Kenny was walking ahead of me.

"What the fuck are you doing Tucker?"

As I stepped out of the bathroom my gaze turned to wear Kenny was looking at. Suddenly worry washed over my body. Craig was leaning against the wall next to the door. He must of heard me. What I said to Kenny. Oh god he knows I'm really fucked up. Like I know everyone knows I'm not completely right in the head but.. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Craig looks at me, noticing I'm breathing hard. Then he looks to Kenny and flips him off. "I need to take a piss that why. Just thought I'd wait until you guys were out." He walked around us and opened the door, noticing the mirror broken. I hid my bandaged hand behind my back. He looked as though he was about talk but wasn't able to due to the fact Kenny began to speak.

"Oh yeah sorry about that!" He laughed as he continued, "I was being stupid and accidentally broke it."

Craig raised an eyebrow at this before walking completely into the room with the door shutting behind him.

I looked at Kenny. "Why'd you -Ngh! Cover for me..?" I questioned.

He smiled. "Cause we're friends Tweek, and I knew you felt awkward."

Not knowing how to respond we walked back to the table in silence.

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><p>After school Kyle invited me over to his place to play video games with him, Stan, Kenny and Eric. Kenny had insisted I joined them because he didn't want me to be alone after today. But I declined. I just wanted to go home and curl up into my bed and maybe watch stuff on my laptop.<p>

I was about half way home. It was snowing lightly which was nice. Music was playing softly in my ears as I walked on the icy footpath.

A car then pulled up beside me, causing me to jump slightly from being startled.

"Need a lift?"

I looked at the car and then at person who spoke to me, instantly recognizing him by the blue chullo on his head.

"Oh.. Uh.." Home was only ten more minutes away by walking, but I felt like it'd be rude if I declined him. "S-sure.." I walked over to his car and opened the door and sat down cautiously next to him, hugging my backpack to my chest.

He started to drive off in the direction to my house. He hadn't been there in about 7 years so I'm kind of shocked he remembers. I never let many people over to my place anymore actually. In the past 6 years I think Kenny is the only person who has and that's due to he comes through my window unannounced.

We arrive at the front of my house and open the car door and step out. "Thank you." I say just as I'm about to shut the door.

"Tweek wait." I stop the door from closing and look at Craig. His piercing blue eyes staring right back at me. "Are you ok?"

Am I ok? "Huh?"

"Are you doing ok?" Why is he asking me this..? Is this about the bathroom incident? Did he actually hear me and now thinks I'm not ok? Well honestly I'm not ok. Being like this is complete shit. But I don't like people knowing I'm not doing well.

"I-I'm fine..." I mumble just loud enough for him to hear.

He makes a grunt in response. As if knowing I'm lying. So to try and make it seem true I give him a small smile before closing the car door and walking up to the porch.

I hear him drive away as I try to find my key I'm the front pocket of my back. Once I find it I unlock the door and walk inside.

I make my way up stairs and toss my bag into my room. I felt so tired. After barely sleeping last night and just stress I guess I felt like I was going to faint. Though I'm sure I won't. I get like this a fuck load and have never once actually fainted.

I strip down to nothing but my boxers and make my way down stairs. I turn the coffee machine on and let it hear up. I lean against the kitchen counter and sigh. I wish I could sleep right. It's so annoying that I can't.

_"I wish you could sleep right too. Annoys me too."_

"Leave me alone.." I say harshly. I was actually shocked by how aggressive I just sounded. And surprisingly it shut up. I poured myself a coffee and back to my room.

Too much has been happening lately. I actually feel myself becoming extremely overwhelmed. Maybe I do I need to be back on medication. But I hate being so numb that I don't feel anything and feeling completely blank.

I grabbed my laptop from the floor and put a TV show on as I snuggled under the blankets, holding my cup of coffee and taking a big gulp.

I felt myself begin to drift off to sleep when my phone began buzzing, startling me. I picked up my phone and placed it to my ear.

"Hello..?"

"Hey man can I come over?" It was Kenny.

"Aren't you -Ngh! playing games at Kyle's?"

"Yeeaah but these guys are being boring. Pleeeeaaaase."

I sighed. I really did hate having people over. I'm didn't mind people in my house just not my room. It's my personal space. And I feel a little more safe here then anywhere else. "Sure I guess..."

I swear I could see him with a big toothy grin right now even though he wasn't here yet. "Sweet! See you in ten minutes!" He then hung up.

I got up put my baggy sweater and also a pair of dark green sweat pants.

Ten minutes later there was a bang on my window.

I opened my window and Kenny crawled through. "There's such thing a front door y-you know." He just laughed at this before walking over to my bed and throwing himself on it.

He turned towards me as I made my way to the bed as well and sat down. "You been alright? Anything else happened today?" He questioned me.

"It -Ngh! tried talking to me again when I got home..." My eyes met Kenny's. He looked concerned. "-But it shut up quickly! N-nothing happened."

Kenny raised his arm and patted me on the back. "That's good to hear."

My eyes gazed down at my hand that was still covered in the bandage. "I-I... I think Craig heard us in the bathroom." My hands began to tremble. "If he did I'm -Ngh! sure he'll tell everyone how fucked up I am.. I can't handle that!"

"What makes you think he heard us?"

I hands were shaking bad now so I placed them under me, sitting on them. It's a thing I learned back when I still went and saw doctor Norris. It made them stop shaking. I also did this sometimes when ever I felt like tugging my hair or doing other harmful things. "He gave me a lift home... And when I got out the car he asked me if I was okay. I told him I was was but I don't think he believed me..."

"Are you telling me Craig Tucker showed concern for you?" This sounded slightly sarcastic but I could tell by the tone of his voice, and also by the fact it was Kenny that it wasn't. I nodded. Kenny seemed to be taking a while to process this information or something. Kenny laughed. "Maybe he has the hots for you."

I felt myself choke. "W-what?!"

His laughing had now quieted. "I joke I joke." He stretched out along my bed, making himself comfortable as I sat with my knees to my chest in the top corner of my bed. "Maybe you should talk to him, like ask what his deal is. He isn't the kind of person who cares about things like that so I doubt he'll tell anyone. But it kind of seems like he's worried about you, which is strange for a person like him. You were once close friends weren't you?"

"Yeah but that was -Ngh! When were ten.." I responded.

He shrugged. "Still counts."

Wanting to change the subject I ask if Kenny wants to watch something. We decide to watch White Chicks cause apparently it's one of Kenny's favourite movies. He ends up falling asleep before the end of the movie. He's snoring softly. Looks like he's staying the night. I drape a blanket over him and tuck it around him. I could hear my parents downstairs now. I'm glad they don't bother me unless it's needed. They used to constantly check on me when they knew I wasn't well.

I stretch my legs out and get comfortable next to Kenny. I stare at the ceiling as I wait for the next day.


	3. Believe Me

**Just a warning this chapter may be triggering.**

Sunlight came through my window and rested on my eyelids. I must of passed out during the night. I don't remember though. I think I did around two am. My eyes opened and I blinked a few times adjusting to the light. I attempted to sit up only to be stopped by a strong arms around me. Looking to my side I noticed Kenny was curled up against me with his arm around my waist. He tended to do this whenever he stayed over the night but usually I'd be awake to move away from him.

I gently picked up his arm and wiggled my way out of the bed. I looked at the alarm clock beside me. It was 5:50am. I went to the bathroom to have a quick shower.

Once it was about 6:30am I woke Kenny up. He groaned at me as I shook his body slightly. His eyes opened about ten seconds later and he gave a toothy grin.

"Morning sunshine." He said as he sat up. I gave him a small smile in response as I didn't want to be rude, though I know he wouldn't care. He pushed the blanket off his body. "Well well well would you look at that." He chuckled.

Confused at this I looked at his eyes then followed his gaze to where he was looking. There was a freaking tent in his pants. "Jesus Christ Kenny! I don't want to see that!" I averted my eyes away quickly as my hands then covered my face in embarrassment.

Kenny laughed. "It's only morning wood dude it's normal." Then he got up from the bed and walked towards the door. "Gonna have a shower quickly before we walk to school man."

When he left I removed my hands from my face and changed into different clothes for school. I put on faded blue jeans and a my favourite dark green button up shirt.

After he finished his shower and we got something to eat, we headed out the door and made our way to school. Kenny swung his backpack in front of him before unzipping the front pocket and pulled out a cigarette and placed it in his mouth, then he was feeling around for what I'm guessing was a lighter. I kind of wanted to ask for a smoke. Though it felt it awkward. Noticing he found his lighter due to the fact he was now lighting the cigarette, I built up the courage to ask as I saw now as an appropriate time.

"C-Can I have one?"

His eyes shifted towards me. "You want a ciggy Tweek?" I nodded my head fast. He blinked. "I guess so then." He then made a small chuckle as he handed me a smoke and his lighter. I quickly handed him back the lighter once I lit it and he put it back in his backpack before swinging it back over his shoulder.

We walked in silence until we made it to the school to which by then we no longer had cigarettes. We made our way to the table we sit at and I plopped myself down without seven looking at who I was next to.

I sat there in silence as everyone talked. I could hear Kyle yelling at Eric, and Stan trying to calm Kyle down or something. I could also hear Token telling Clyde off as he was trying to study or something but I don't know exactly. I didn't want to be intrusive by listening to every word.

A sharp pain in my head distracted me from my surroundings for a moment. I winced and grabbed hold of my head as my eyes clamped shut. My head was throbbing and my chest suddenly felt extremely tight.

_"I can take the pain away you know."_

Oh for fucks sake.. I rested my head on the table in front of me. I'm hoping no one has noticed my abnormal behavior, though, I guess it's kind of normal for me. I clutched onto my head tightly as the voice basically began to sing to me.

_"I can make everything better."_ It snorted. _"Come on, gimme a chance."_

I let out a groan by accident. This caught the attention of Stan from across the table. "Dude are you okay? Do you feel sick again?" I'm guessing he's referring to me being 'sick' yesterday too. I tried to reply but no words would come out. It was so damn hard to breathe for fuck knows why.

Kenny looked over to me from where he was sitting. My head was throbbing so intensely as I could hear it laughing at me. It was a psychotic laugh. The laugh of mad man.

"Tweek, do you want me to take you to the nurse?" the blond said. He knows I wouldn't go to the nurse for this so I was guessing this was just an excuse to help get me away from the crowd.

_"You're fucking pathetic."_ It laughed.

I felt tears welling my eyes. "Leave me alone.."

"What?" I heard Kenny question.

I looked up, to see him. Almost everyone at the table was looking at me. I must look so freaking pathetic right now. I'm on the brink of tears and I'm sure everyone can see it. I quickly jump up. "I-I need to go home." I mumble as it's all I can get out without the tears falling. I got up and started to head towards the door to outside when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I was suspecting it to me Kenny, but when I turned to look at the person I was surprised.

"I can drive you home. I have a car." Craig removed his hand from my shoulder after he had gained my attention.

I didn't reply as I honestly couldn't talk right now without embarrassing myself more than I already have. Craig headed out the door in front of me and I followed. I found it strange once again he was driving me home..Showing concern but my mind was racing and _it_ was making so much noise in my head that I didn't care, as long as I got home faster. Once we arrived at the parking lot we made our way to his car. My hands were trembling so badly it was hard to open the door to let myself in. He turned the car on and drove out of the lot.

_"How do you know this guy taking you home? I bet he's taking you somewhere else."_

"Shut up! No he isn't!" I attempted to reassure myself. Craig stayed silent as I mumbled to myself.

_"You gotta get out the car Tweek, he's gonna kill you!"_ It yelled.

My hands were gripping tightly on my hair and I accidentally pulled a clump of it out. He was taking me home right? I know I should never believe It..But is he? Oh god. Ok, I know he is but I don't know.. I turned my head to look at the raven. But as I looked everything flashed black in my eyes and instead of seeing Craig next to me, I saw red eyes and a huge evil gin. One of the shadows..

I let out a blood curling scream as I quickly opened the door of the car and jumped out of the moving vehicle. The impact of landing on my hands and knees, on the icy road hurt quite a lot, luckily we weren't going that fast. All I could hear was the maddening laughter. I curled up into a ball on my side and finally decided just to let the tears out. I was a wreck. Next thing I knew I felt arms around me, lifting my up from the ground. My eyes opened slightly and I caught the gaze of worried blue eyes looking at me. I was placed back in the front sit and the seat belt was adjusted on me. I was sobbing now, biting my lip to try and muffle the sounds. My hands clung to my hair as I tried to think of ways to distract myself. It was still laughing, I could still hear it. But I did what it told me to do! It usually shuts up if I do as it says.

The car stopped, so I'm guessing we arrived at my house but I was to caught up in trying not to cry loudly to notice. I heard my door open, and felt seat belt taken off. Arms gently lifted me from the seat and I was carried into my house. I felt kind of bad for Craig carrying me, I'm not that heavy or anything, but I don't know. I was placed on the couch in the living room.

"I'll be right back, ok?" My eyes followed Craig as he walked out of the living room and into the kitchen. I then heard talking but the voice in my head was too loud for me to hear any of it.

_"I bet he's plotting to kill you"_

"Ugh Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" I banged my head hard against the couch. I stumbled off the couch onto my feet and ran up stairs. I needed to cool myself down, I felt like my body was on fire.

When I got to the bathroom I turned the cold tap on and splashed the water over my face. I looked up at the mirror, I couldn't tell what was water and what was tears on my face. My eyes were red and puffy and I think my bottom lip was slightly swollen from biting it so hard.

_"Damn, you look like shit."_

This time the voice wasn't coming from my head, it was coming from in front of me. My reflection. The reflection of myself looked completely insane. A grin spread across it's face.

"Why can't you leave me alone?!" I screamed.

_"I'm only doing what I think is best for you."_ It laughed. _"For us."_

"No you're not! I hate you! I want out! I want out!" I cried.

The grin from it's face dropped into a frown. It's once psychotic looking eyes changed into what I would guess it would look like if you were about to kill someone out of pure hatred. This caused me to take a step back. It couldn't actually hurt me right? Like psychically? Next thing I knew I saw a black shadow appear behind me in the reflection. All the blood drained from my face when I actually felt its hand cover my mouth. It's long black fingers that kind of looked like branches digging into the side of my face. I shut my eyes as I thrashed around trying to get out of it's grip.

"Tweek!"

Huh?

"Tweek, calm down!"

I opened my eyes and met my reflection. It was back to normal. But there was a hand over my mouth. It was Craig's hand. He loosened his hand and dropped it to his side when he saw I had calmed down at least a bit. Oh my god. He's seen me like this now. I never wanted anyone to know. I wanted no one to know anything more then my twitching and my anxiety and the obvious things. But not my freak outs. I bolted out of the bathroom and dived straight into my room, landing on my bed. I hid my face underneath the pillows.

I heard foot steps as someone entered my room. I hated people seeing my room. It was my personal space you know? Kenny was allowed as the first few time he did it without me even noticing. Never leaving my Window open again. Though I was still uncomfortable whenever he did come around. I now had a strict 'Touch my stuff and you'll never be allowed back' rule.

I turned my head slightly so my eye was peeking out from under pillows. The raven was staring down at me. Hands in his pockets. I couldn't read his face. I had no idea what he was thinking. Though I was guessing it was going to be something like, 'Damn you're a freak.'

"I'm sorry.." I basically whispered. "P-Please don't tell anyone about this.." His facial expression didn't change. I kind of wanted him to leave. But I couldn't muster the words to tell him this.

Craig sighed and sat down on the bed next to me. My body tensed up a bit.

"What the fuck just happened?" Wow. Way to be blunt.

"Ngh- I can't..You wouldn't believe me." I replied.

He snorted. "After what I just saw, there's a big chance I'll believe you Tweek." I just kept my gaze on him. I didn't know how to reply to that. I guess after seeing what happened made it more obvious? But still I was cautious. He sighed again. "How about if I tell you something you something..Personal I guess, you answer me?"

Something personal? About Craig Tucker? I must admit I was interested in finding out what he was gonna tell me. But I wasn't sure if it was worth it. I guess he already knew the gist of what was wrong with me so I nodded.

"Hm.. There's a lot of things I could tell you.." He looked like he was thinking of what to say. "I'll tell you this. Uh so.. Well, sometimes I burn my thighs with the end of my cigarettes." ..He hurts himself? Intentionally? Never would I have though he'd do that kind of thing. "I like, sit on my window sill with just my boxers on and do it then. Been doing it for years ever since I accidentally did it." He shrugged.

"Why though..?" I questioned.

"Makes me feel alive I guess I dunno." He shrugged again. I think he could sense I was worried as I looked at him. "I don't need pity. Only reason I haven't told anyone is because there has been no point." He paused. "Now it's your turn."

I shuddered at this. I really didn't want to tell him. He was probably gonna laugh or something or worse- Call a psych ward! Ugh.. "I uh.. ngh- I hear things.. More specifically, a voice.. It tells me heaps of stupid shit and ugh.." I can't believe I'm actually telling him this. "I also see things.. These black shadow like creatures. They have red eyes and sharp teeth. I used to only see them in my dreams but recently I've been seeing them in reality too." I hadn't been looking at him as I told him all this. Too awkward. But when I did look at him, he was staring right at me. Which kind of caught me off guard. "Uh.. Last two days the voice would talk to me through my reflection in the mirror instead of just in my head.. It's weird." He nodded as I talked as if to let me know he was listening. "Y-You..Shouldn't you go back to school?"

"Nah." Oh? "I'll hang around here for a bit, in case the voice comes back or something."

"Why do you care anyway?" I didn't actually mean to say this. It kind of slipped out.

His eyes pierced through mine as he looked at me. "I don't know."

I moved over a bit to give Craig more room on my bed. I suggested we watch a movie as I really couldn't think of anything else to do with the raven. He was shocked when I had chosen a horror movie to watch, Child's Play to be exact. Said he thought that kind of movie would scare me. I like horror movies, because I know they aren't real, unlike the horrors in my real life. It kind of gave me some kind of reassurance that even though it was fake it was worse than the stuff I go through.

Craig makes himself comfortable, taking his shoes and hoodie off and leaning back on the bed. I kind of sat there awkwardly in the corner. My knees to my chest. I wasn't used to this so I was slightly uncomfortable I guess. He told me there was no reason to be awkward, it's not like we haven't done this before. This was true but that was seven years ago, and we had barely spoken since then besides hi and stuff when all our friends hanged out together.

* * *

><p>A few hours had past and we actually watched the first three Child's Play movies. Craig gets up from the bed, I thought he was getting ready to leave but instead he went over to my window and opened it. He pulled out a single cigarette and a lighter from his pocket and lit it up as he leaned out the window.<p>

"Are you on medication?" That was kind of random.

I didn't see the point of answering as he honestly had no right to know but I pushed past this though and answered him. "I used to be b-but I hated how it made me feel.. I felt dead.. And it didn't shut up the voice or anything it just made it quieter.." I started chewing on my finger nail. "I told my parents that Ngh- I-I was better.. That it must of just been a phase..And they believed me so yeah.."

"Oh." Was all he said in reply. But then he continued. "I have something that may help. You should come over tomorrow."

I blinked. "O-Oh okay.." Something that could help? Like what? Some other kind of medication? Alcohol perhaps? I was actually a big fan of alcohol. Being drunk is defiantly the best feeling I've experienced but my parents rarely drink so I am unable to steal it from them often.

Craig walks back over to the bed once he's finished smoking as I hear the front door open down stairs. My parents must be home now. The raven beside me sits down again just before there is a knock at my door. The door opens slightly and I see my mother peeking in.

"Tweek, darling-" She paused as she caught sight of Craig. I can understand this, she didn't think I've had people over in years. She never knows when Kenny is around because he doesn't let them know he's there. A soft, sweet smile fell upon her rose pink coloured lips. "I'm cooking potato bake for dinner, sweetie. It should be ready within the hour." She looked over to Craig. "Will you be joining us too, love?" Mum had a thing for calling everyone by pet names. I found it annoying in public when I was younger but I didn't care now.

He shook his head in reply. "I should be going actually."

"Okay, it was lovely seeing you though, Craig dear." She said as she left. I found it funny she remembered who he was, as it had been a long time since she saw him last. Though she was good friends with Laura, Craig's mother, so that may explain it.

Once she is gone the raven gets up and puts his hoodie and shoes back on.

"Come over around noon. Or whenever suits you best I don't really care." He spoke. "Do you remember where I live?"

I tried to think for a moment. I kind of knew where he lives but I hadn't been there in so long I thought I may get lost. I told him this.

"Give me your number I'll text you so you remember." Craig handed his phone over to me and I typed my number into his phone. He texted me straight away with a single '.' so I would have his number too. He starts walking out of my room but just before he gets to the door he turns around to look at me. "Feel free to call or text or whatever if the voice comes back." He left before I could reply.

* * *

><p>I make my way down for dinner and sit at the kitchen table. My mother placed a plate or potato bake in front of me and a coffee of freshly brewed coffee. I sip at the coffee and have to hold back a moan from delight as it goes down my throat. Dad was reading the newspaper across the table from and mum sat down beside me. They asked me how my day was and all the other usual boring parent questions. Of course I lied. Said it was an uneventful day and that I was fine.<p>

Mum's eyes fell to my bandaged up hand. I had honestly forgotten about it. "What happened to your hand, honey?" She questioned, as my father also looked at my hand with a worried look in his eyes.

I opened my mouth to reply but my mind went blank. I couldn't think of what to say. We sat in an awkward silence before I realised they were both looking at me worryingly. "I fell on it!" I blurted out, though I think they know it was probably a lie. But they let is pass.

I sat in silence the rest of the dinner as mum and dad talked to each other. I was halfway done with my food when I left the table and went up to my room.

I sit down on my bed and stare at the wall. For some reason I couldn't stop thinking about how Craig hurt himself. I wonder how his legs looked. If burns made them look as fucked up as.. well..

I removed my pants and I looked down at my legs. My legs were ugly. They were disgusting. Not because they were too fat or too skinny. But they were covered in scars. From my upper thigh to my knee. I traced my fingers along them. I hate them. My voice used to make me do this.. Well no, it didn't make me but it drove me to do it. They were mostly small ones but there was one large, long, jagged looking one on the inside of my thigh. It was the only time I full on listened to _it_ and attempted to end my life. Luckily I missed the artery but it took forever to heal. That was a few months ago. So the scar was still red and looked angry as i like to put it.

I remember faking being sick for a week just because it hurt too much to walk because of it.

My head softly fell back against the pillow before turning to my side and dragging the laptop off the ground and playing it in front of me. I put Highschool Of The Dead on and watched it for a while.

* * *

><p>About 3 hours later, when I've finished watching the twelve episodes of the show, I feel a vibration from under my pillow. I reach my hand under it and grab hold of my phone.<p>

It was a text from Kenny. I opened it and read it. He asked me if I was okay and if Craig was any help. From this, I realised Craig may of called the blond when he left me in the living room. I didn't really feel like replying so I put the phone back under the pillow and put on a new show until I eventually drifted off.

* * *

><p>I woke up only an hour later covered in sweat as I had another nightmare. This time I saw another me with four of those shadow creature things following behind it. The creatures had held me down on my bed as the other me straddled me before taking out a knife and shoving it down my throat. I felt the pain in the dream it was horrible. It dragged out a lot more then this but that's the gist of it.<p>

I grabbed my phone from under my pillow and saw that I had a few messages. They were all from Kenny. All of them asking if I was okay due to the fact I hadn't replied. It was nice that he worried I guess but I hated when people worried about me, made me feel like a burden I guess is the word. I texted him that I was asleep and that I was fine and placed my phone on the table beside me.

I got up off the bed and headed to the bathroom to have a nice cold shower to rid of the sweat on my body.

I spent the rest of the night doing a marathon The Simpsons and drank a total of six coffees.

Once it was about eleven thirty a.m. I put a pair of black jeans on and a sweater and headed out. I headed in the direction I was pretty sure Craig lived as I sent him a text for the exact address. He texted me back shockingly quickly I made my way to his house.

When I arrived at his house I rang the doorbell. A girl who looked about thirteen answered.

"Uh.. Is Craig h-here..?" Oh god what if I'm at the wrong house, I mean I recognize it but still.

She stares at me with her big blue eyes. Next thing I knew she was pushed away from the door. "Fuck off Ruby." The girl flipped off the boy who had pushed her and he returned the gesture."Hey Tweek."

I smiled at Craig as my hands played with the bottom of my sweater. I gave him a nod as my hello.

I walked into the house and followed Craig. As we walked past the living room I saw Laura sitting in front of the TV watching some sitcom. We made our way up the stairs and entered his room. It looked much different to how it used to. It now had band posters and movie posters everywhere. His room was rather messy too. Mainly dirty clothes everywhere. While I was looking around I hadn't noticed Craig searching under his bed. My attention was brought back to on him as he pulled out a small bag.

He turned back to look at me and saw that I looked obviously curious. "I don't know if it'll help you or not but it at least feels fucking good." I tilted my head to the side, not really knowing what he was going on about. "Let's get high."

**I would of updated sooner but been shitty lately- Thank you to everyone who reviewed. Please leave a review- ^^**

**Also I have changed this to M as eventually it'd need to be done and also due to the triggering stuff-**


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